The Chapter - The last leap of Faith

How many times have your mother told you not to run when you are still a toddler while in the mall ?
How many times have anyone told you not to skip classes ?   
How many times have someone told you not to walk alone in the dark alley late at night ?
How many times have your father told you not to drink and drive at the same time ?
How many times have you not heed their advice only to figure out that they are actually, right ? 

Humans are such creatures, only when you are able to experience it personally in order to give out advices that you learnt from the mistake.

--

The Chapter - The lead of faith 

The clock still ticking thirty past ten, everyone in the room are still laughing with their friends. Chugging glasses while the waiter cleans after the table that the customers left behind. As she steps out of the club with E, she didn't realize she was about to start a new page of her life. The drivers waiting in the line, while the other passengers boarding to continue enjoying their night. But there she goes, with him, into his car. Thru the street lights entering another neighborhood, as she looks outside the window the gentle breeze stroking her hair and give her little peeks on the face. For one minute, the world seems to be kind to her and everything seems to be at peace. However, nobody knew how complicated her mind and heart was feeling after finding out that her partner actually been cheating on her for the last three years that they have been together. To finally step out of her own comfort zone, going back to the society and learning that everything happened for a reason literally took her more than four months. Thinking back on how life had treated her, she couldn't help but to just shut her eyes and ignored the voice. 

While the car entered the neighborhood, he wakes her up to meet his friends for the very first time. The little confidence of her boosted a little, excited to meeting new people for the longest time. Their friendliness make her felt welcomed and loved. The night continue into the dawn as they talked about what happened in the past with their lives, all the crazy stuffs that they did and the people they came across from the different ways of life. The history of his that she learnt pricked the motherly side of her, encouraging the urge of protecting this man from all the harm that the world might offered. She might be falling in love but was she? She have no clue at all, only time could tell ... 

Pushing her way with the security, entering in suit to her desk. All she could think of was what she learnt last night about his history. After debating with her inner self, she determined to complete her work on hand before she could think of what she should do. Hours had gone by and exhausted from the piles of paperwork that was cleared, even the sun had set she was still sitting in the arm chair reasoning with herself that if is only right to be there for someone again when she knew the chance of being left behind existed. The very moment from another end of the street, seated a man, choo was in his automobile thinking on how his life isn't going according with his plan at least not with the woman that he has been with for the past year. As toxic as the relationship could be, he can't seems to figure a way out for himself. Neglecting all the negativity that he was absorbing, he decided to keep himself swamped with work.

Days passed, the whole group met again. She enjoyed her time together with the whole group of his friends. With all the drinks that she had during the evening that whatever happened was only learnt the next day when she woke up. They met up with her friends too and looped the fun into the night. After office clock strikes 1800hours, she was excited to meet E again for the next movie that he promised to go. Hours had passed, and her cell haven't ring a single time. For the first time, she lose hope. It was than she looked into her phone app and heard from her friend wanting to know if the same group of them wants to meet and have another gathering. It was only at the moment she realized she actually had choo's number in her contact list. Making the phone call, the two met up heading up to her friend residence for a gathering. Laughter echoing the apartment as her thoughts filled with E, she wasn't herself anymore. 

Many times E had disappointed her by cancelling the dates and despite multiplies of dead-dates and empty promises, she never blamed him for what he did but the fondness for him have slowly dispersed. Many times she wanted to just talk to him in person, shared how her day was, knowing how his went down but what welcomed her was only disappointment and rejection. Since E and choo afflicted, she thought by agreeing with friends gathering with choo would make her feel better but little did she know, she was enjoying the company by choo. (shitty move, but y'all know what they say about female tends to grow feelings for people that always show up and being there for her, guess that's what happened) It wasn't long before the meeting of each other became a routine, she found herself receiving texts prolly just one hour before knocked off from choo asking if she wanted dinner with him, and being the friendly character of choo even her friends liked the idea of her hanging out with him. 

Busy streets with cars filled up in each lane, the sunset to welcome the night of Saturday. This time round, her phone didn't ring neither did a text came in. She was wondering why as her cell ring, letting her heart to skip a beat as the caller ID display, E. He had something to ask, as she recalled what was told to her during the get-together over the weeks, even though she admitted that she liked him however she also knew that E didn't liked her enough to give her the assurance and with the understanding of E's past relationship, she herself could tell that he have not let go of his past love. Whatever happen-happened, she wanted to let her go, she wanted to love and to be loved again, for the longest time thinking that she couldn't love and there she goes, with tears rolling down her cheeks she was ready to give up on E. 

This time round, she decided to only love the ones that love her, she decided that she will only give after she receives. Years of believing that the love she gave would be return haven't been returned, she understood that nobody will really treat another person how they wanted to be treated, she concluded that people will only treat another being how they wanted to treat them without considering the feelings of the other. Now she knows, the love she once knew were actually so naïve, pure and impossible ... 

The vibrations of the phone disrupted the silent Sunday morning, the rays were knocking on the blackout curtains of Choo's bedroom as he lifted his mind of the fluffy pillow. The endless work that kept his mind of his intoxicated-ship for once he find it therapeutic, he knew today he wanted to meet her so badly after knowing that she was hurt. He wanted to protect her, want to give her all his love and make her mind. Closing his eyes, he let his mind wonder to where she said she was. He didn't knew how long he had been in the moment wanting to hold her in his arms, embracing her petite self in his long arms, stroking her hair in his fingers and understanding all her stories. This time round, he want to keep this woman all to himself determined to make this the final chapter and call her his wife. He decided to make his first move. Excuses after excuses, reasons behind another reasons. He finally picked up his phone to call her, asking if she ended her work and if she wanted to eat. As broken as she was, she felt that she needed to take a walk.

Two wandering souls met up for a grab after debating internally with themselves, silent between the two was broken when the thunder roared after the lighting lilted the sky. Guess she didn't even knew herself that it's the company that she felt made her comfortable and relaxed. It's like lighting doesn't strike the same place twice, but it did. For her at least, she found herself being enchanted by this man before her. She knew exactly at that moment the feelings she had for E was just pity and feeling sorry, she felt that nobody should have been treated the way he did but that wasn't a romantic feelings. Yet looking at him standing there talking with his acquaintance, she can't help feeling wanting the time to stop so that she could stare at him for the longest time she could remember. Choo walked over, the look in his eyes, she was so drunk in those look. He asked her so much about herself. Knowing that she like bijouterie, he got her one watch with much sparkles that couldn't hide the ones in her eyes. Things where she answered she couldn't even believed that she have never ever experienced being an adult herself of age.

The courage where it brew within him roars, he invited her to their local Monte Carlo. Being local for her entire life, she had never been there. With the love and passion for architecture, she immediately fell in love with the place. Being there for her first time and the fact that she was with him, she took another look at him and found herself being more assurance with her own feelings. She wanted to stay for the night to enjoy the place when he took the liberty with 'tn i win 1k i treat u', Choo had no idea these words made her heart skipped. Maybe it's God's will, or pure luck for her or him, inside the joint he was winning. Choo treat her to the vacation at Monte Carlo's very own 5 star hotel, as promised.  

Her heart was skipping every spilt seconds, her mind couldn't keep turning in that direction. (i mean who could, two grown adult going to vacation together? lol, unless he wasn't a man or clearly he wasn't interested but i would) She was unpacking all the shopping that she did earlier, trying her best to stay awake so that nothing she expected would happen, she waited for him to fall asleep, before letting her guard down and entered her dreamland. Before the sun hugged her good morning, she felt a warmth coming from her back. The soft touch sent the signal to her brain, waking her up from her sleep. She was debating herself if she wanted to push him away or to embrace what he has to offer. She choose the later, shutting her eyes and letting her body react to his. The kisses felt in place, like those were made for her. Every touch of kisses and every thrust he made were like devouring her the way she never felt and she find the fondness addictive, he was like her ecstasy. For the longest time, she found herself falling asleep safely in his arms. 

Only after where she find herself in denial, she learnt that his 'proposal of break up' wasn't accepted. The longest time where she thought that Choo was single, wasn't. She hated to becoming the person she hated the most, she wanted to run away. Most importantly, she wanted to hide. She couldn't bear the pain she was feeling, she couldn't accept her judgement to be wrong. She couldn't allow herself to fall in and out of love with him, she couldn't comes to terms with herself that she actually fell in love with him and she couldn't imagine her life without him, anymore. 

Choo didn't knew how she was feeling, she was concealing all the negative feelings she held possession. She was taught that guys didn't like negative vibes, she was taught when you are obedient, you eventually get the sweet. She tried to be, but she couldn't anymore. Why does it feel so good to be bad, it took her long enough to turn back bad. The whom she was, she didn't want to be what she was taught anymore, why wait for sweets to be given when it could be taken. Choo didn't left her side despite all the negativity tries to get into her, those hates, assumptions, accusations about her thru the days. Even when she had to leave hours for work, so does Choo. He remain contactable and he make sure she could be found. He would wait for her to end her day, bring her food so that she couldn't skip her meal knowing that she would. He gave her all the confidence she needed to trust him and this relationship, enough for her to take the leap of faith. 

She completed understood that it does take two hands to clap louder, but one hand sure can clap. And, lighting does strike the same place twice, but thunder sound louder. The devil was once an angel, yet grim reaper is still an angel. 

She couldn't imagine now, how her life would have turned if isn't because of him..

Because end of the day, it doesn't really matter who is talking or whoever is louder. It only matter because to her, he is beside her smiling to her loudest laughter. 

,xoxo